Knowing what to change
was never the hard part.
Ninety seconds, and you’ll know whether this is your kind of room.
If information were enough,
most of us would already be there.
The leaders I sit down with have read the books. They’ve built the plan, hired good people, done the work everyone told them to do. And somewhere along the way they noticed the same thing: it keeps stalling in roughly the same place.
In almost every first conversation, that turns out not to be a strategy problem. It’s something quieter: a voice that decided a long time ago what safety and worth required, and never got asked about it since. I call it headtrash. Most of us are carrying some.
Here’s what I’ve come to believe after enough of these conversations. Nobody needs to become someone else. The same strengths that got a person this far are usually the ones worth keeping. They just don’t need to be powered by fear anymore.
Where most people
find me.
- Everything still runs through you. Every decision, every fire, every “can you just look at this.” Your team isn’t underperforming. You’re over-functioning, and from the inside those feel identical.
- You know what to do, and don’t do it. Not consistently. Not under pressure. That gap is where most of the frustration lives, and it never closes with more information.
- The traits that built it are now the ceiling. Hyper-achievement, control, the need to be right. They got you here honestly. They’re also why it can’t grow past you.
Same person.
Quieter room.
- Your team carries what’s theirs. Not because you handed out a process, but because you stopped stepping in front of them at the first sign of mess.
- You do it on the days you don’t feel like it. That’s the whole definition of a habit. It stops depending on whether you woke up motivated.
- The same strengths, no longer powered by fear. Nobody needs to become someone else. Those instincts are worth keeping. They just don’t need to run on dread anymore.
Lasting change isn’t a decision.
It’s a habit you build.
Why is real change so hard? Because knowing what to change isn’t enough. What has to change is how we think and respond in the moment, and that only happens by building new habits often enough that the brain lays down a different path.
So the method is fairly plain: small daily reps, small enough that they actually get done, and a few people alongside you who notice when they don’t. Most of the work happens on the ordinary days, when nobody feels particularly inspired.
Pod-based mastery
You do this alongside three or four other leaders, the same ones every week. Live practice, the truth when you need it, and people who notice when you go quiet. Nobody builds this alone, and I’ve stopped pretending otherwise.
Habits, not hacks
Fifteen minutes a day, small enough to survive a bad week. Not a technique you reach for when things get hard — mental fitness that’s already there when the pressure arrives, because you built it on the ordinary days.
Presence-driven selling
Most leaders sell the way they lead: performing. The work here is enrolling people through curiosity, trust and service instead. It changes how your pipeline feels, and it changes how your team hears you.
Black Belt Core Values
Be Sage. Be Resilient. Be the Habit.™
Radical Curiosity
- Always listen like you’re wrong
- Serve with abundance
- 80% strong thinking
Unconditional Respect
- Our commitments unite us
- Healthy conflict
- Treat how you would want to be treated
Practised Presence
- Breathe. Be present
- Listen deeply
- Don’t steal anyone’s journey
Relentless Simplicity
- Turn down the noise
- Intention first
- Be — do — have
Steel Sharpens Steel
- We don’t weaponize the truth; we learn from it
- Respect boundaries
- Judgement-free practice
Present. Brave. Direct. Human.
The 4 Freedoms.
Nobody comes to me wanting to get better at mental fitness. They come because something in their life has gone quiet, or heavy, and they’d like it back. These are the four places the work usually shows up first.
- Wealth — measuring the gain instead of the gap.
- Time — asking who, not how.
- Relationships — showing up the same at home as you do at work.
- Purpose — be, do, have, in that order.
I’m not teaching this
from theory.
A few years ago my business wasn’t performing, my health was going the wrong direction, and — the part that actually hurt — my relationships were strained. I was leaning on things that dulled the edges instead of dealing with what was underneath.
My wife Brenda, who has always been my greatest supporter, gently told me how disconnected I’d become. Hearing that was hard. Acting on it was harder. But it was the thing that started the rebuild.
There was no dramatic turning point. It was a series of small, consistent choices — honest conversations, daily reflection, writing things down, noticing patterns I didn’t always like. For the first time in my fifty-odd years, I feel like I’m living in alignment with the person I’m meant to be.
I call myself a sensei on purpose. A dojo isn’t where you show up already a master. It’s where you train, get corrected, fall, and get back up with a little more control than the day before. That’s the room I try to build for every leader I work with.
— Joe
We can’t truly connect with others until we’ve learned to connect with ourselves. Joe Heraldo
A pathway to self-leadership
and deep insight.
Here’s the honest shape of it. None of these steps are complicated, and I’ve never had anyone struggle to understand one. The difficulty is always in doing them on the days you’d rather not.
Setting the stage
- Identify what actually matters most
- Set goals you’d say out loud
- Build the mental fitness foundation
Quiet your inner critic
- Recognize the patterns as they happen
- Replace self-doubt with something steadier
- Meet your accountability pod
Obstacles to opportunities
- Meet challenges with curiosity instead of dread
- Use empathy, exploration and innovation
- Find what the hard thing is actually offering
Achieving lasting success
- Make the core practices automatic
- Strengthen emotional resilience
- Build something sustainable, not a sprint
What a seat actually includes.
Two things are needed before any of it works: an open mind, and a genuine willingness to grow. Those are the only parts I can’t provide.
A full year in the app
- The complete growth library
- Daily mental fitness practices
- Self-guided learning modules
- Weekly pod accountability meetings
Eight weeks guided by me
- One-to-one coaching the whole way through
- Guidance shaped around your goals, not a script
- Practical work on trust, resilience and collaboration
- Straight answers when you’re stuck
I’m in every pod, so the groups stay small. Have a conversation with me about what you’re working through and we’ll talk through the details together. And if the timing isn’t right for you, I’d genuinely rather hear that than have you force it.
Start the ConversationPeople who turned the volume down.
“Your mind is your best friend but can also be your worst enemy. Positive Intelligence learning, with Joe’s commitment and guidance, has helped me harness the power of mental clarity and a positive mindset.”
“This program taught me the importance of putting my own oxygen mask on first. By learning to slow down my thoughts, I could clearly see what truly mattered. The outcomes have been incredible — improved well-being, deeper relationships, and a renewed passion for my work.”
“I never imagined the sessions would be so transformative or have such a profound impact on my leadership style and team.”
“Joe is easy to talk to, empathetic, and has a deep and thorough understanding of running a business.”
“His insight, pursuit of excellence, and knack for bringing out the best in teams cannot be matched.”
Your growth pays
for someone else’s.
Ten percent of every seat goes to Empowering Change, which gives leadership teams inside South African orphanages access to self-leadership training and the tools to run their organizations well.
This is the part of the work I’m proudest of. Someone deciding to look honestly at how they lead ends up funding leadership somewhere it’s needed a great deal more, and I still find that remarkable.
of every seat funds leadership training in South African orphanages through Empowering Change.
Things people ask me first.
What is the Unconditional Leadership Habit?
It’s a way of working on the part of leadership nobody trains you for — how you think and respond when you’re under pressure. Daily reps that quiet the critical voice, a weekly pod that keeps you honest, and eight weeks of guidance from me. The goal isn’t to make you someone else. It’s to stop the old wiring from making your decisions for you.
How much time does it really take?
Fifteen minutes a day and under an hour a week for your pod meeting, across eight weeks. I keep it that small on purpose. A practice you can’t sustain isn’t a practice — it’s just one more thing to feel behind on.
Is this therapy?
No, and I’m careful about that line. This is training, not treatment — practical work on how you show up as a leader. If something comes up that belongs with a therapist, I’ll say so plainly. Plenty of people do both.
What if I’m not sure it’s the right time?
Then say that out loud and we’ll talk it through. I’d rather tell you the timing is wrong than take a seat you’re not ready to use. Some of my best conversations have ended with “not yet” — and those people usually come back when it’s right.
How do we start?
Email me at Joe@HeadTrashDojo.com and tell me where you’re stuck. Not a formal application — just the real version. We’ll take it from there.
You don’t have to have it
figured out first.
Most people I talk to aren’t sure this is for them, which is usually a good place to be starting from. Tell me where you’re stuck, in whatever words you’ve got, and we’ll work out together whether this is the right room.
Be Sage. Be Resilient. Be the Habit.™